Never seek approval

Stop auditioning; screen instead

Never seek approval

Dice (Commons). Approval-seeking is auditioning.
Field	Inner game
Also known as	don't seek approval, non-supplication
Origin	pickup literature / iceberg
Related	Neediness; Qualification (pickup); Pedestal; Outcome independence

Never seek approval is the inner-game name for not auditioning. In practice: qualify her; do not qualify yourself. Résumé, money talk, 'I'm a nice guy' are the leak. Neediness is the feeling; this is the behavior.

Method

1. Cut the speech about why she should like you.
2. Ask a real screen. Have a deal-breaker.
3. If you want a laugh, tease. Don't fish.

Failure mode

Seeking approval by pretending not to care. Incongruent.

See also

• Neediness
• Qualification (pickup)
• Pedestal
• Congruence
• Outcome independence