Don't fix her problems

You are not her caseworker in minute ten

Don't fix her problems

Conversation (Commons). Rapport is not casework.
Field	Pickup
Also known as	don't be her therapist
Origin	Iceberg / pickup
Related	Rapport; The friend zone; Deep diving; Sexualization

Don't fix her problems is iceberg advice: you are not her therapist on first contact. In practice: rapport is a beat, not a clinic. Deep diving is her talking about something real — not you solving her landlord.

Method

1. Listen one beat. Don't leap to a plan.
2. Tease or lead out of the hole. You are not the help desk.
3. If the whole set is her venting, you are in friend-shaped territory. Sexualize or leave.

Failure mode

Fixing as a way to be useful because you have no other game. That's the nice-guy funnel.

See also

• Rapport
• The friend zone
• Deep diving
• Don't be a friend